At some point, my family and I are most probably moving to the Netherlands.
We just don’t know when, or how much it will cost. And the price of tulips have surely gone up since the last time I visited.
So, with my favorite project recently completed, I figured I should join the ranks of countless Americans and start looking for a job. My resume resembled the explosion of a bullet point grenade, but after ten rounds of natifs editing, I finally sent out my paper version of a Mentos commercial.
Within days, I got a few emails and calls. Wow, I felt like a million bucks, even if I didn’t have the bank account to back it up. After the initial ego high wore off, I noticed something very different since the last time I went looking for a job: it’s an employer’s market.
Several companies asked that I put together detailed presentations and PR strategies in less than 48 hours. Fair enough. It’s not like I had anything better to do.
Each interview was a learning experience — in how not to treat a potential employee.
I know I’m way out of line to even consider asking companies to treat people with respect when unemployment is at an all time high. However, I’d like to make a few suggestions to potential employers on the behalf of the meek everywhere:
- Don’t ask the candidate to write “sexy, edgy or hip” copy about your cat food, foreclosed condo building or men’s hair gel unless you want the words pussy, squatters and/or douche bag lingering just below the surface.
- Don’t practice syncopated rhythms with your water bottle during the candidate’s presentation.
- Don’t ask the candidate if the presentation on your hypothetical contest, selling an imaginary product, is a draft.
- Don’t abandon the candidate in the conference room and let the candidate “show herself out.”
- Don’t forget to be pleasant and say thank you no matter how moronic the candidate may have seemed. You may one day be struck with amoebiasis while traveling and she will be the only French/Spanish/English/Dutch translator within a 60 mile radius who knows how to explain your sexy, edgy and hip symptoms to a medical professional.
And to everyone in search of employment, I recommend you have a little catharsis on your person at all times. Remember: it’s your show.
“Dance Yrself Clean” from Hung Low Films on Vimeo.
Wow. That kind of treatment is totally uncalled for. It sucks that promising phone calls and emails lead to frustration. I wish you the best of luck and hope this particular journey is a brief one! And if you need someone to tell those jerks that you’re ridiculously awesome, I’m your girl.
Thanks for having my back Marie. Stepping out of a few of the interviews, I really had to laugh. I guess I’m old school, but I expect at least some small talk and a thank you even if I totally flub it!
That is really horrible. I am sure you had amazing and brilliant presentations. People often forget when interviewing that it may be them on the other side of the table some day- with you being the person they are trying to impress. I hope that your talents are recognized by a company that deserves to have you. And treats you that way. (P.S. Love the mentos commercial)
Such a good post can I please forward it a couple of really rude people I know
Good luck with the job search, to you and many others.
Of course you can forward it. I’m writing a bit tongue and cheek
How are you?
Ouch. I, too, have been left in a conference room. No fun. I’m sorry to hear it. I say you just put on 10 camps each year! Forget the cubicle.
But if you do have to go back out there: good luck! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
I remember having to sit through someone telling me about the ‘mood’ they were trying to capture for their awe-inspiring commercial and they kept using the word ‘gendre’ (genre) to emphasis the particular look they were looking for…… I suggest you come straight to France and start organising a European Foodblog Camp here toute suite!